I'll Never Drink Again:



As I entered the emergency room, Johnny's heart had stopped beating. The doctors had tried to revive him twice with no success and as the minutes on the clock slowly ticked away, we all knew he had already passed into the next world. Down the hall his sister, my wife, was in the trauma ward, well into her third hour of surgery. From the local police I learned that the accident was the worst they had seen in a long time. And also that my wife was lucky to still be alive, to which I simply gave a weak smile. Not because I didn't love my wife but because my best friend was dead and my wife was still in critical condition because the doctors hadn't been able to stop her internal bleeding thus far.
Just then I saw Johnny's wife Gloria enter through the sliding doors of the emergency room lobby. Their two-year-old son Jason was on her hip. I couldn't even begin to imagine her feelings on receiving that phone call from hell that had sent her racing to the hospital. She walked over toward her friends and family who were gathered in the waiting room. She noticed the large amount of people already there and the mood in the room. She began to realize what had happened without ever really being told. As I continued to watch I saw Johnny's dad, her father-in-law, take little innocent Jason from her arms as she cried out, sank to the ground and went into a fetal position. She was screaming and cursing at God in two different languages for taking her husband. Moving to her side her mother held her like she would have done had she been a child woken by a nightmare. She spoke smooth, soft-spoken words into her ears. It took much doing but eventually Gloria calmed down and the family began to explain what had happened in greater detail as I sat in a corner by myself, drowning in my own self pity and bitter sorrow.
Listening, I learned that John's little 1996 Chevy step-side pickup had been nearly ripped in two by a drunk trucker who ran a red light. That's when I swore never to drink again, not because I had hurt anyone else while drunk but because Johnny had always warned me that one day I might, and sitting there, as I was surrounded by mourning family members and the like, I never wanted to, by chance, bring the same pain to another family. So I silently swore never to drink again.

As her family continued to comfort her, I saw Gloria look up at me in my BDU'S and combat boots. Her eyes were tearful and she just stared at me in pity and understanding. She now knew what I couldn't bring myself to deal with and why I sat secluded, seemingly in my own place and time. I read that understanding in her emerald green eyes as she got up and unsteadily walked toward me.

"I'm so sorry," she said, kneeling down in front of me and grabbing my arm. "I had no idea Jamie was pregnant." Tears once again welled in her eyes and also poured from mine. Sitting there for some time holding each other, comforting each other, knowing each other's pains and heartaches, I began to feel a little better and could at last bring myself to speak now.
"I didn't know either," I said. "That's why they went out together today. She wanted to surprise me." I was speaking in an unsteady, hoarse voice. "And now because of a stupid, fucking drunk, you've lost your husband and future niece or nephew and I've lost my best friend and a son or daughter. And quite possibly I still might lose my wife."
"Don't talk like that," Gloria cut in before I could release any more of my tragic woe. "Don't talk like that," she repeated, wanting to make herself believe what she said, though deep in her green eyes I knew she was just as unsure of it as I. But I played the part and cast all pain aside for a time to help strengthen my best friend's wife in her time of great despair and sorrow.
We talked quietly for the next hour or so about great times. Birthdays, anniversaries, road trips, and even of a time when we were old enough to know better, but young enough not to care. When we stole a kiddy pool from WAL-MART, hooked it up to John's truck with a chain and went sliding all over the local golf course, tearing the greens and fairways to shreds.     

 

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